Karen's story

A friend indeed

At 13 Karen was shy, lonely and had very few friends. She’d never heard of an ‘independent visitor’. Seven years later, she’s bubbly, outgoing and happy and wants to share the secret.

I came into care when I was nine. I was very lonely and very shy. I hardly ever went out – just stayed in with my foster mum, not doing anything.

The local children’s rights service must have been worried because they paid me a visit and told me about Independent Visitors (IVs). They told me an IV was someone completely independent from social services who acts as a friend. They meet up with you, do whatever activities you choose and listen if you want to talk.

It sounded like something that could be really good for me, so I agreed and Children’s Rights set up the first meeting at my house. They said that if I didn’t like the IV – for whatever reason – I just had to say and they’d try to get someone else. Luckily, my IV was Phil. She was great. In fact, we’ve remained friends even though I left care a year ago.

Trust

I’d been told again and again that IVs are totally separate from social services, but I didn’t quite believe it.

My second meeting with Phil was at a café at Tesco. I decided to test Phil to see if she really was a mate and not someone who was going to tell me off or go running back to my carer.

My foster mum didn’t let me have sugar, so as a test I put seven sugars in my cappuccino. I was sure Phil was going to make me stop, but she didn’t. She just sat there and let me do it!

I had to drink the coffee, which was horrible, but at least I knew I could trust her.

Good times

It was really good having an Independent Visitor. She did pretty much whatever I wanted, just girly stuff like going to the cinema, shopping, horse riding or the theatre.

After a couple of years I met Phil’s daughter and her family and even had sleepovers at her house. It was dead good. About six months in I started telling Phil more personal stuff, things about my mum, things that I didn’t want anyone else to know about. Every teenager has things they want to talk about, but it’s not always stuff you want your carer or social worker to know. Phil was someone I could trust. She was like a soulmate.

These days I’ve got a lot more confidence. I can definitely speak up for myself and have achieved things I wouldn’t have thought possible a few years ago. I’m happy now, I’m at college. I’ve got a boyfriend. I’m not sure these things would have happened if I hadn’t been put in touch with Phil.