Milly's story

 

Leaving home is tough for anyone, the system makes it much harder for care leavers. Grime, dust, damp and mould.

Would anyone from the local authority house their own children in such a place?

 

Hi, my name is Milly*. This is my story about moving into my first home.

Leaving home is going to be tough for anyone, but in my experience the system makes it much harder for care leavers. Life after care should be exciting (if a little scary) and is something my foster carers helped me prepare for. Peter and Jane* showed me how to manage my budget and encouraged me to save for my future. I loved shopping for things for my new home with Jane. It was slightly stressful – thinking about living alone can be quite daunting – but we coped well.

However, I soon found that the system couldn’t cope quite so well. There was a severe breakdown of communication from the housing department. I’d started a job in London, which is what everyone encourages you to do. The work was hard and the hours hectic. It was my first full time job and I found I needed my foster carers’ support. The housing department didn’t seem to understand my circumstances and didn’t do enough to help. After a few aggravating incidents, the good news finally came through: I was going to get my own place. What could possibly go wrong?

 

Don't tell me people live in this filth?!

When I first saw the flat, I thought, 'Don’t tell me people live in this filth'. My foster carers were visibly upset. It was squalid. I approached the Housing Officer and asked if they would give the flat in the state it was currently in. The response? A curt 'You’ll take what you’re given'.

I was taken aback. It’s difficult to describe quite how horrible it was. You can only read my words, but I saw it, felt it, smelt it and stood amongst it. There was grime, dust and growth on the surfaces. The walls had holes in, plaster was missing, wallpaper peeling off, there was damp and mould everywhere. Despite the state of the place, I felt I had to accept it.

The filth was unbelievable; it took Peter, Jane and me well over a week to wash the walls, scrub the radiators and remove all the loose debris. I wondered if anyone from the local authority would have housed their own children in such a place. When I first decorated my home I had no idea of the stress and anxiety it would bring. I had been lucky enough and smart enough to save money, but would it be enough? I also worried about being on my own, and all of this while I was starting my first full time job.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There was grime and growth on the surfaces. Despite the state of the place, I
felt I had to accept it.

 

 

 

Getting prepared

I had lived with my foster carers for five years. I arrived with nothing but left knowing how to budget, to take care of myself, to clean, to cook. I had good values. Never did I expect the lack of understanding, support or common sense from the housing department and the local authority. These are the people who are supposed to help.

I’ve since witnessed three other young women have similar experiences. These are people trying to do the right thing. They’ve all had jobs, none has any kind of anti-social behaviour. I think my experience is the tip of the iceberg. What happens to those care leavers who don’t get the support I received from my carers? The ones who haven’t saved for their future, who don’t have the skills to cope? They are the ones I’m most concerned about.

 

Comments

  1. Harriet says:

    Sounds as if you have had a really tough time. I just hope it is getting better for you and that the job is working out. Good luck

  2. vanessa says:

    Where were social services when you were going through all this? The leaving care team should have been telling housing that this was not acceptable, you and your carers should not have had to deal with it alone!

  3. Milly says:

    This sounds horrible. I feel for you. I too was placed in a house (if you could call it that) that was totally unfit for human in-habitation. Part of my roof collapsed and I got sick from the filth. Finally I fell unconscious and fell through part of my wall. I won the right to a decent home. But though I too, was fostered, my foster parents would not help me. You may feel you are suffering, but do not forget the wonderful people that are helping you. It may seem like no one cares but there are people that can help you. For a start leaving care people can help too. Hope it gets better. Until then, good luck!

  4. John says:

    I'm sorry you've had a rough start, but your attitude about all this shines through and should be an inspiration to others. It's a tough world out there and even tougher for many leaving care, but that's why it's important to dig deep into yourself and HHS resources around you (must be great having peter and jane's support). I would encourage you to keep writing about your experiences, you express yourself very well on the page. Take care john

  5. jemma says:

    I so pleased it all worked out for and yes your right to wonder if your forster parents werent so supported what would you have done. I myself I 20 and in the leaving care team until this year december. I didnt have a filthy flat but i had to do everything myself with no help but I happy I got through even though I had a few miss happs along the way. Good luck in your job and remember they are people out they who will help.
Post a comment
Hide page