Dear Suzie,

I’m in care because my mum’s an alcoholic and needs help. But I was moving around quite a lot and they said I would end up in secure. Then I moved to a children’s home in Battersea and I was really good and I settled in but I ended up in secure because my previous records caught up with me. But I still want to go back to my children’s home in Battersea because I know for sure that I won’t settle anywhere else. And I would start to get in trouble again but it’s my life and I don’t want that anymore.

Sarah, 14, London

Suzie's answer:

It seems more than a little unfair to me if you’re saying you ended up in secure because of your past behaviour, not your present.

But let’s look for a moment at what you’ve said: that you won’t settle anywhere else but your last children’s home. Because if you want to go back - and it seems to me that you should - maybe you need to show you can settle anywhere and can be trusted to behave well.

You’ve got many good reasons to feel angry and upset - being in care, fears and worries about your mum, having been moved around. Feeling anger is normal and understandable but you have to manage it and not let it rule you.

Make it clear you are determined to clean up your act and getting into trouble is not for you.

Ask for help from your social worker and say you’d like to work towards going back to the home, and that you want a plan that will get you there and are prepared to work at it. Good luck!